Youre not the only one that has had that thought. Dolores had a desk about thirty feet away and told me to stop and that the smell was making her sick. Should I just ask to move elsewhere on the floor? If thats the case, theres nothing LW can do. I have a coworker who is brash, cool, and seemed real. For me, my comments were about where the smell could still be coming from, since OP seems baffled that they could be smelling like anything after all theyve done to eliminate smells from their person. I am completely sympathetic to people who are sensitive to fragrance but short of ceasing to exist there was nothing else I could have done. And all of her clothes, even immediately after laundering, smell exactly like her perfume, which is interesting because the detergent on its own it quite strongly scented. But some people never stop being bullies, or they become bullies in adulthood because theyre tired of being powerless. I also have sniffles all the time. On me, personally, alcohol-based eau de parfume scents last way longer and have a lot more throw than my oils do. They gave us a list of suggested unscented, fragrance free, hypoallergenic laundry and hygiene items. I was more than willing to not wear perfume and make sure I wasnt wearing any heavily-scented products, but theres a limit. Yes, this is what Im finding a little boggling about a lot of the comments talking about scents at home, in mattresses, sheets, etc. I actually have a diminished sense of smell but patchouli is one scent that penetrates my nose. Oh college lol. I HATE floral scents in virtually all forms, but I dont have severe allergies nor do I get migraines. Your box of tissues has become your closest companion (and admit it your sleeve has been called in to pinch hit on a couple of terrible occasions). Both conditions could be well managed with conservative therapies, such as nasal steroids, antihistamines, or decongestants. And one year when I was a broke college student, the place where I worked had basically an endless supply of get a meal 1/2 off coupons from Moes, which was next door to the store and made it the cheapest full meal I could get most days. So shes either exaggerating (because of being a jerk) or to be slightly more charitable shes now got herself into such a state of snittitude that she now genuinely smells patchouli where none exists, e.g., in a mildly lemon-scented body wash. Agreed- the smell of Patchouli makes me nauseous due to being forced to smell it for 3 years straight while working part time in a health food store while in high school (Bread & Circus anyone?). What if coworker says the only acceptable product is $100/bottle? Just because she can smell something doesnt mean its bothering her. I guess people who are sensitive to it can smell it long after use. Ask them not to wear perfume to work? (And if the scent is specifically patchouli, the coworker might not be bugging other coworkers because they dont carry patchouli scent. It's a little passive aggressive but can't hurt. Usually trying to clear the flood and congestion by blowing my nose is like trying to slam a logjam through the eye of a needle. I much prefer that someone blows their nose. Sad. Ugh, the patchouli/indie oil people I know best are white, so that didnt even occur to me, but it maybe should have. Its possible were dealing less with a misidentified scent and more with a clumsy insult. So why wasnt the smell bothering the coworker before that? Single. But unless were also banning Axe body spray or Febreze from the public sphere (if only), people get to wear whatever scent they like in public even if it annoys some other people. Thrown everything in the washer when I get home, may not wash it than and there, and take a shower before heading to bed. Have someone independently walk in and see what they smell where. Its reached the point where it feels like juvenile bullying and I honestly dont know what to do. Maybe you were sabotaging her diet and it was making her grumpy? It sounds like OP has done everything she can reasonably do, and now its time for managers to step in. I may be off base, but if the OP was using an oil type product, and depending on where she used it, like on wrists or forearms, could it be lingering on the desk or office chair? I feel like it's so rude and inconsiderate of other coworkers. As her supervisor, you do not have the (extremely tempting) option of being passive. Move there. This gesture communicates the non-verbal message, "I am virile, powerful and dominant". .true story, I made my partner change laundry detergents after wed been together a few months. I'm 12 I have the same problem it started like a year ago it drives my mam mad I really want to know what's causing it, Im only 14 and I sniff all the fricking time its really annoying and I carnt take it anymore. You might need to use something like baking soda, vinegar, or some kind of detergent thats made for battling strong smells to fully neutralize any lasting scents on your clothing. I just wanted to thank you for being considerate to your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work. I wonder if the OPs coworker has developed a heightened sensory sensitivity to even trace amounts of certain smells and isnt being honest with herself about it. If it were a worse reaction I might say something, but right now I dont. >>She's super nice and friendly and it kills me that I hate her. If the colleague continues, especially in a loud, unrestrained manner, consider making a complaint to your manager or human resources department. But a co-worker? I think it would be pretty unreasonable for someone whos bothered by it to insist that, for instance, a coworker stop treating their psoriasis appropriately just because of the smell of their shampoo. I have spent years finding a shampoo routine that doesnt make my hair look really clean, but is passable, affordable, and most importanly doesnt make me bleed. I cant go into a store that just had new carpet put down. It used to be a magical odor-disappearing spray! This type of preview may stop the interrupter before he or she starts. Agreed. If Im being charitable to the coworker, I think this may be happening; shes having a real reaction to a non-existent smell because she assumes its there. I cant pinpoint the source, but they have a very distinct smell. Thats so interesting! LOccitanes lemon verbena is beautiful (and keeps mosquitos away..). And I try to laugh and/or dismiss the topic as quickly as possible so we can get on with life and so that my health issue (which can be all consuming to me) doesnt become all consuming for them. Still I'm on the fence as to what is more annoying - blowing the snot or sucking the snot. +10000 the phrase is reasonable accomodation and op has gone above and beyond. This. The funny thing is my mom uses patchouli, so I associate that particular scent with mom-ly ladies. It turns out I suffer from ocd i am on medication for it. It's perhaps the most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman. Stupid 16 year old prick that couldnt have been more annoying to begin with. Sometimes I notice smells will stick around for a few days, even after I have showered. I love scented candles and I burn them regularly at home. WOW! If you have a fabric covered chair for instance, the fabric might have absorbed some patchouli prior to this incident. When I mentioned it to the host, she looked baffled and said she couldnt smell anything. Here is my most recent one. No. But I agree, thats not what this thread should focus on. She refuses to move. they may be still carrying your scented oil. In fact, unless the scent comes from something that uses natural chemicals (most dont) or uses a couple of synthetic chemicals mostly used in paints or plastics, it is physically impossible for her/him to have an allergic reaction to it. We had all worked together for over two years before this started. Its not bad, its just hey, you smell like your mom. My conditions have all been verified by multiple doctors and specialists.). Like the cheese thing, this blows most peoples minds. And its one of the most powerful triggers available. Ditto with my kids shampoo and bubble bath. (Posting this at 12:20 p.m. EDT, so comments before then werent ignoring this; they were just earlier.). So if the co-worker were to have a genuine allergy to patchouli, say, it wouldnt help. Cmon, guys. When you start sniffling and sneezing, you know spring has sprung. I worked in a lab, and pretty much every chemical we used suddenly smelled like fish, vomit or both to me. Does she police every individual in the office? I'll be studying in one room with the door shut and can still hear him sniffling in the other room. So many great suggestions here for how to deal with her from that perspective since she, not the scent, is the problem. Apparently the original product (in R&D) was scent-free, but focus group people didnt associate lack of scent with clean, so they added in scent to make it marketable. Amazing. Also if OP is wearing the oil outside of work it may just be lingering on her skin or hair, even after washing. And theres a limit to how much Im willing to let work infringe on my ability to surround myself with a pleasant environment in my off-hours, in the way that I define a pleasant environment, which for me is strongly scent-based. (Sometimes I feel like a hypochondriac, since I have so many medical conditions, but I swear Im not! He serves as the Studio's sports and recreation section expert. Been over 10 years now. OP says she stopped wearing the perfume, but specifically notes in the letter she also wears essential oils. Make a joke about you. I agree that theres a practical limit to how much you can accommodate allergies and sensitivities. If exposed long enough, the migraine will last for 4 days, so its absolutely no joke, and my productivity drops precipitously. This must be resolved with management/HR. You could play it off like a joke (Haha, X, I havent worn anything like that in ages! Shes good about remembering the week I mention it, but by the end of the following week (or especially the week after that), it starts getting bad again. If your coworker continues the comments after these conversations, then at that point, say this: Clearly this isnt something we can resolve on our own. Cleveland Clinic 1995-2023. I am so so sorry. I wouldn't blame anyone for dunking their heads into a basket of feral man meat hammocks. I live in the U.S., but Im African and I work in an office where people are from all over the world. The only thing I can think of is that it was not washed as much as the other clothed. Well, only kind of. For instance, I dont notice the smell of coal tar shampoo because I grew up in a household where both parents used it, but Ive heard people complain about the smell. Decrease the authority you have in the workplace, over a team or within a project group. I once used a mix of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and my favorite detergent to remove cat pee from a mattress. Yeah, this was my thought. If the co-worker was a jerk about it I might get dramatic and fling myself to the floor and wail, what more do you want from me? But thats really better left for fantasy, I suppose. Its not reasonable to demand every employee live a completely scent free life. Honestly, if my workplace required that I stop using scents on my body, I would have a big problem with it. She is forever grunting, snorting and huffing and puffing, not to mention wheezing and coughing. Stop using the lemon-scented body wash for a few days and see if she keeps making the comments. You've just arrived back at the office from a heavy lunch with your colleague, and from the other side of the cubicle, you hear him let out a loud, obnoxious burp. My mother had a scarf, ages ago, that smelled like patchouli. 4. Its kind of sad that management isnt reprimanding her behavior. Id also be thanking Boss for talking to you. Making up a story about how you're going to adjust your perfume doesn't accomplish that either. We ended up going out to a bar that evening in a group, and as the night went on, people slowly peeled off until it was just the two of us. Yep, I worked at a Panda Express for a few months almost 10 years ago. Which sucks majorly. Assume the best of your coworker. When a guy opens up to you, he has feelings for you. I worked somewhere that used the lime one for the bathrooms and it did beautifully without giving me headaches, so I started buying them for home. I mean slimy as opposed to the warm feeling you have after talking to someone who is genuine. I love the essential oil, but I abhor the incense sticks. It is amazing how difficult it can be to shake that incensey smell if you commonly use incense or oils or other such products at home. My guess from your other comments is that the particular scent of patchouli bothers her and that its lingering somewhere like your hair, your car, something. I wasnt rude or mean, just cold and matter-of-fact about the whole thing. Full stop. My sister had a theory that putting patchouli on the soles of her feet somehow cleansed the impurities out of her system. How best to handle a situation like this? And I feel you pain. I am all about being considerate to the people around you, but Im having a hard time with this one too, because I agree that no one should be expected to change their home/weekend habits and change up all their products to accommodate a coworker. Your nose can react to irritants that arent known allergens, Dr. Reisman says. If some of these ideas dont work, I might try asking her, What, exactly, are you smelling? So Im pretty inclined to read the comments as coworker being a jerk instead of actually having difficulty working with a smelly coworker. Really!). I dont even own any alcohol-based spray-type perfumes, just oils and solid perfumes, and I still refer to them all as just perfume, so I think thats what OP meant. I get youI dont like the taste of turkey. This isnt because OP has done anything wrongin fact, shes done everything right and has gone I still loved bourbon but I could not drink Jack for 20 years. I think its like color blindness, there must be a receptor that some people have that make them aware of something in the patchouli/patchouli type scents and the wearers arent actually able to detect the same scents. In this particular case, I think the OP has done enough and its time to bring the boss in to either shut down the rudeness or find the coworker a new place to sit. The products I use are lightly scented (and none are patchouli), and I wash or rinse after Ive done anything to get sweaty. It's a tell-tale sign that your coworker wants a relationship outside of work. I think its time for OP to otherwise adopt a broken record response, like Nope, not wearing any perfume today. Use a VPN or SSH Proxy (BEST OPTION): A VPN or SSH tunnel will act as the middleman between your computer and the dubiously secure servers on the internet so that everything sent between your . There were some pretty extreme suggestions about changes that OP could make to try and address it there too my favorite was keeping your clothes in dry-cleaning bags and dressing in the garage! They Are Constantly Complaining About You: If a coworker constantly complains about you, they want the bosses to know that they are not happy with you. Well, rose and lime and the mens Eau des Baux are good, their neroli scent is like death. The worst, though, is that my hair picks up smells like no ones business and will smell like cig smoke even if I just walk past a group of people smoking. But scent contamination can come from many things, often small things. I can understand wanting to be considerate, but doesnt one still have the right to wear perfume on the weekends or burn incense? Blah, blah, blah. Southern Comfort for me. Wash my hands right after, thats not a problem. Or maybe the scents linger in a vehicle that then gets stuck on you, so to speak, or on an office chair? I dont like using them, because they seem very anti-social, but I will in places I cant get out of and have no chance of controlling like an airplane or in a taxi. Or make sure youre using a powerful, unscented detergent. This might be a long shot, particularly since it really just seems like your coworker is being a jerk. Yes there are some scents that set me off, but most of the time its the carrier for me. Yeah, I think OPs already tried very hard to remove any possible scent. I would go to HR myself and complain that I am being harassed by a co-worker who in spite of your having ended wearing the perfume that bothered her is waging a campaign of harassment against you. Or the chair, if its a fragrance she was wearing for a while before the coworker first complained? Sniffing is one of my triggers to, whenever I her even one small sniff I get a huge panic attack. In the last few years Ive suddenly become extremely sensitive to eating sounds. I would switch laundry detergent, perfume, etc. I met my husband while I was working as a pizza cook at Chuck E. Cheese. I feel like Id want to get to the root of the problem. I think this is an important point too. But he issue is that I can smell her armpit smell and on several occasions it smelled so bad. And I was laughed at. This. There is at least one in every office. We rinsed them off and re-used them until they were super gross. Just wondering if a pattern can be established regarding the coworker. If your coworker has Aspergers or some kind of sensory processing disorder, they could go through a doctor to have HR find them accommodations away from other people. I put this at the top of the post but am adding it here too: There have been loads of suggestions above for additional ways the letter-writer could tackle potential scents and stamp them out. If you let mgmt/HR know you want to do what you can to address your co-workers sensitivities, youll be seen as proactive and sympathetic. To cap it off, she has started picking her nose quite explicitly. But, it might be that your area is still retaining some of the scents you were wearing previously. Just make sure over time they don't start pulling to those spots! Go to a therapist. Oh, dear, thats true. I try to buy products that are unscented or are minimally scented, but sometimes Im surprised at how strong the fragrance is in some products. if there is a sensitivity at play here, it should be on the workplace to figure out an accommodation for the affected employeenot for OP to try even harder to obliterate every aromatic molecule from her clothes/jackets/chairs/PORES(?!!?? They just arent my preference, but barring a health related consequence of great severity, I would never dream of asking anyone to change their scent of choice. It's his responsibility. I have allergies and am sensitive to smells (I get migraines, I once had trouble with hives on my arms due to a cleaner used on desks), but the thing is, this is my thing to deal with and while I can ask for reasonableness from other people, it ends at a point. The fastest, simplest and quietest way to communicate is through a chat tool, however, you've got to set some expectations around how it's used. Please follow Alisons advise, and let us know what happens. Not sure if she has a medical condition though or she just doesnt wear deodorant/antiperspirant. Thanks for giving your more mature (compared to the coworker) perspective here. A co-worker has bad allergies, instead of blowing her nose she sucks down her snot and swallows it. I have had reactions to certain smells, even one flavor of herbal tea, that makes me sneeze and sneeze. We get really obsessed about smells. Id also be grumpy if I couldnt use scented products to make myself smell nice on Friday nights and weekends, for fear of bringing traces of the smell into work the next day. If shes got a serious problem with it, she needs to talk to the boss and make some sort of arrangement so she doesnt have to get next to you, and also so the boss can make a general announcement about a scent policy. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. Its entirely possible that your chair or coat have absorbed the smell, and you might not even recognize it. This is my biggest hurdle. I have been through a lot of different A friend of mine. Be mindful of how you feel around this person. She would wear scarves over her mouth all day at work and cough and cry about how bad I smelled. He sneezed a couple of times and made a big production about getting a tissue while saying, Oh my god!! If not I would actually quit over this. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it's so bad my family says something to me. Here's how to tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic: 1. I had a similar problem with Oreos, which was really sad because I love Oreos. It doesnt make sense that OP needs to suddenly cut out all shampoo and all bath products when seemingly everyone else can use them without judgement, including us. . Yup. But I was young and naive and I said all I had done was use soap (which was standard issue and unscented) before I left the restroom. But I also think it can be Pavlovian, where you see the person you identify with a scent and smell it, even if theres no actual scent around you. I switched to unscented laundry stuff, shampoo, body wash and antiperspirant but the complaints continued. His family would get so angry about it when he was younger. Should we talk to the manager or HR about that? I do wear my perfumes on the weekend still, but I generally wear business casual clothes (which live in my closet) to work and casual clothes (which live in my dresser) on the weekend. Colloquially, anything scented you use for the scent (and not to wash, etc) is commonly referred to as perfume. Theyve been here since February and they still smell the same I wonder what it is! Yeah, youre not alone in wondering this. :(. Their idea of unscented is, to me, to just kill me with a scent I cant define. There was a time when I burned incense almost daily and I loved the smell in my house, but it never occurred to me the degree it was sticking to my clothes and how much you could smell it on me when I was at work etc. It came on after a bad cold last year. Thermostat Wars conveys what Im trying to say so much better than I could!! Now its up to the co-worker to prove its not a case of singling her out. should I tell the truth in my exit interview? Even if she genuinely believes she smells something, it is not her prerogative to treat you like this. Theres no legal definition of unscented and fragrance-free, so companies can slap that label any product. Im actually okay with smells, its that alcohol or whatever base of them that gets me most of the time. very invasive advice). Refer them to another coworker or someone who's working on something similar, so they can help each other. You might have to accept it for now, since you cant reasonably ask her not to wear her favorite perfume on dinner dates, nor can anyone else dictate her showering schedule for her. To me, sniffling is like nails on a chalk board. One, about patchouli just dont. Instead they want to continue chatting or working. And I agree, shes probably smelling patchouli in her head as it were. That stuff is horrid as is varnish and a lot of paints, although paint companies are getting better and better at doing paint formulations that dont make even non asthmatics want to gag. I think it becomes a way to get attention, vent frustration, or just ensure that others are as miserable as the complainer. :). I have to use unscented shampoo due to a skin allergy. I cant even look at kale now, let alone consume it. Every action is . They figure X wasnt so hard, so X+1 shouldnt be a big deal either. Im guessing no, otherwise the coworker would have an office reputation for being sensitive. And that's because your coworker might not even know that she likes you yet. Even the most lightly-scented of shampoos can leave a smell. 1. But yeah, some smells cling to clothes through the laundry. if there was someone I work with who had a scent sensitivity, Id be sensitive to that. :) All in all, its just frustrating when youve done everything to accommodate someone and they are still abrasive. And if it works properly your nose is one of the most sensitive sense organs you have. Is the boss smelling it? It can linger for a really long time and washing with unscented detergent may not do the trick. . But Id be pretty cranky if someone at work told me I had to stop using some hygiene product unless it was REALLY egregiously strong-smelling (looking at you, beloved Soap and Glory lotion that I wont wear in public). I inhale the mindblowing smells and sandals I also lick, but only the inner soles where the pretty feet have met the . Talk to your doctor about Same goes for Sambuca (or anything licorice-smelling) and lavender-gin cocktails. Ideally, purchase some high-quality noise-canceling earphones and leave your desk. I meant no offense and should have not used the word disgust. Handling 'Gross' Things Can Be Tricky for HR Advice for HR professionals. Oh gosh, nothing makes you paranoid like cat pee. I agree that it seems that this person is harassing or bullying her. Is there something else youre hoping Ill try? Even the most proper person has burped and sniffed on occasion; because these are common bodily functions, it's impossible to completely avoid doing them. oh I get it I know that people either love or loathe it. It is going down the whole ethnic food route of complaining about stinky food. The ones made with essential oils seem OK, its the more chemical created scents. I would second Allisons advice to talk to your manager if this was happening to one of my employees I would want to know about it. 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