Just make sure that lightning doesnt strike twice, okay? Keep things positive with him. So i went, I was very stressed out, recited my lines, took every advice I had read up to this point and try to act casual. Your ex contacts you first. In the end, I just said my goodbye and left. If she lied and cheated on you before she left, you should never ever associate yourself with her again. 9. 9. Your ex probably just agreed to meet you because its been a while since he or she saw you and talked to you. Today, Im going to give you my tried and true game plan so your first date is enjoyable for both you and your ex. Get home safe. Or do you just miss the idea of your relationship? In fact, the person who does the dumping is usually in a better place to be the winner, because they saw the big change coming well in advance. Overall, its ok to meet up with your ex-boyfriend. Otherwise, you are just wasting her time and yours. If she is the dumper, that means she broke your trust, right? Its not going to be the same candle-lit setting that would have been appropriate at the beginning of your relationship, when you were still in the seduction phase. Keep the conversation lightdont mention the breakup and dont bring up any long-term plans to get back together. Some studies have shown that women report more negative emotions after the breakup, particularly feeling sad, confused, scared, and guilty. In some cases, your ex might be a bit reluctant. The art of conversation is a topic in and of itself, one we will certainly cover another time if there is enough interest. Keeping her talking is extremely important and demonstrates your confidence. You want to have momentum behind you as soon as she walks in. So, the dates going great, and youre getting excited. If you do it right, she will have an almost unbroken stream of things to say. But when I dig a little deeper about who reached out to who, its almost always the case that this guy hasnt left her alone since the breakup. So if youre wondering what it means if your ex agrees to meet you, know that the meaning usually depends on whether you invited your ex or your ex invited you. If your ex replied to your text and the two of you have had even a short texting conversation, you can take the next step by calling your ex. Old feelings, whether positive or negative, are bound to come up. WebThe most common reason your ex-girlfriend will reach out to ask how you are doing is to make sure you are doing okay because she still cares about you, and loves you as a person. I said I could pick him up and he said, Ok, maybe we can grab breakfast after. When I got to Firestone, he got in car and gave me a peck on lips and said hello. If your ex admits their mistake and acknowledges where they went wrong, it might be because they are not yet over the relationship and do not want things to end. Let Her React To You If You Want To Get Her Back. I asked her if she wanted to go to a rage room and break some stuff and she said she couldnt last weekend and couldnt this recent weekend and said maybe a different weekend!!. Just make sure it fits you comfortably. Rule #1 is to not let the first date take any longer than 2 hours because you want to end the date on a high note. The person who was blindsided by the breakup usually has a harder time recovering and is not in nearly as good of a place to win. How will you react if she tells you shes dating another guy? A woman means absolutely nothing if you have nothing amazing going for you in the first place. Just keep up with your efforts to make her smile, keep things friendly, respect her and eventually she will make up her mind to meet you again. Many dumpers are over their exes and dont want their exes back. Thing 1- Him Initiating The Talk. Now youre touching her gently, and keeping her talking about herself. Keep your goal in mind, and dont stray from it if things start going unplanned. But at Mens Breakup, we teach long-term, masculine happiness, which means you need to think about more than just what you want right now. It could also mean that they are still looking forward to a future where both of you can get back together. 3. WebWhen out with your ex, approach it more as a meet-up with an old friend rather than a catch-up with an ex. Once your ex-girlfriend has agreed to meet, make another date at your place, and follow the formula above. They Acknowledge Their Role In The Breakup. With that out of the way, we need to address the elephant in the room. Once you stop missing her so acutely, you have an idea of what went wrong, AND your life is under control, then, by all means, meet up with her if you think you are ready. Theres a good chance shell comment on your new sense of style. You want to maximize your presence, and these little tweaks will go a long way toward helping her feel comfortable around you. All of these things SCREAM neediness. This belief prompts him to reach out in fear. So instead of getting upset over your rejection you can change the situation by saying, Hey, all Im asking is for 10 minutes. After she leaves, you want to wait to hear from her, especially if she dumped you. Moreover, are you emotionally prepared if things happen to go south? For example, you might tuck her hair behind her ear and gently brush your hand across her neck. Cooking dinner together can be incredibly fun and romantic if you know how to set the mood; Doing something together can help you break the ice, especially if its been a bit since youve seen her in person. When you successfully move on, itll make it harder for him to return. They are trying to figure out if you are still available and/or if youre still interested in them. Your email address will not be published. The most important thing is to manage your expectations Bear in mind that reconnecting with your ex is a slow and gradual process, and it will take more than one meeting to reconcile with him. If your ex wants to meet up to catch up its likely that he has felt an emptiness in his life since you exited it, and simply wants to meet up to see you, talk with you, be with you. Because this article is already long enough, you have to take me on faith with these rules I dont have the space here to explain them all. WebAn ex-girlfriend who has 100% fully moved on for sure is unlikely to agree to hang out with you, and probably wouldnt be too bothered if she never saw you again. Your ex contacts you first. From what you wrote here it feels like you are still at his beck and call. If she tries to communicate with you, ignore her. They frequently show up where you are. If at any point during the meetup, your ex says that he or she wants you back though, then your ex will tell you what you want to hear. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. You want to steer away from your ex and guarantee the quickest and safest route to recovery. I suggest giving it up to 5 days. WebAn ex-girlfriend who has 100% fully moved on for sure is unlikely to agree to hang out with you, and probably wouldnt be too bothered if she never saw you again. Were you too needy? You can start by adopting the body language of a leader. In this case, its more about what not to do than what to do. Dont entertain any lazy texts (u up?, wyd, etc.). Identify your feelings towards the ex - Ideally, you should figure out what you feel towards this person. Male friends are always good at getting you into a positive frame of mind. Once youre out there if you feel like shes open to it, I suggest ending the night with a kiss, and a line something along the lines of all the kidding aside, I had a great night. Even if your ex broke up with you, she still wants to win the breakup. Ideally, there will be more flirting, and it will end with sex. Before your meeting, spend some time thinking about why youre meeting up with your ex-boyfriend. I remember one occasion from back in my early 20s, when I was on a date with a girl who had dumped me about 2 months before. WebWhen your ex agrees to meet you, it generally means 1 of 3 things: Shes at least open to giving you a chance to get things right She wants to keep you in her life, usually as a friend. They protect themselves from smothering emotions and run away from a situation too heavy for them to control. Anyway, after losing 13 pounds, and a lot of tears, I tried no contact. So, there are two things I would like to talk to you about today about the big talk with your ex. I wish deep down that we could revert everything back to the way it was, but how can you regain the trust that was broken? If you insist on responding because you want to be polite even though she shat on you in the worst and most disrespectful possible way, do it once in a blue moon if and only if its anything royally significant. So, there are two things I would like to talk to you about today about the big talk with your ex. Will your ex give you signs that he/she wants you back or wait for you to make the first move? They are: Touching builds connection. Old feelings, whether positive or negative, are bound to come up. If your ex wants to meet up to catch up its likely that he has felt an emptiness in his life since you exited it, and simply wants to meet up to see you, talk with you, be with you. WebIf you want your meet up with your ex to go well, its very important that you prepare yourself beforehand, so that you dont make the kind of blunder that will convince her that she made a mistake when she agreed to meet you (i.e. I know youre not lazy, otherwise, you wouldnt have read this far. At the same time, there is only one way to know for sure. WebToday, I want to talk a little bit more about what your ex is thinking and what your exes experience is when they are hearing from you and possibly even getting back together with you.. There are a couple of assumptions baked into the above. If your ex agrees to meet you, it means that your ex has thought through the breakup. For your ex to appreciate you and love you for who you are, your ex must discern your worth and regret breaking up with you. When your ex meets up with you but doesnt express the wish or the need to get back together, you need to understand that your ex didnt meet up with you to work on the relationship. Old feelings, whether positive or negative, are bound to come up. Don't Chase Her. The pinnacle of outcome independence is the ability to be yourself without giving a shit about what anyone else thinks. Its important to be yourself, with one caveat. They frequently show up where you are. Even if your ex broke up with you, she still wants to win the breakup. So if you dont think the relationship is worth rekindling, you are better off not meeting up. Let me turn it over to my friend Omni Man for a second. Put yourself first here, your long-term happiness is more important than any. Before your ex asks for another chance, your ex could ask you lots of direct and indirect questions related to your relationship status and interest in your ex. The you shes looking at in person will be compared to the old you she used to date. One of the key ideas I teach here at Mens Breakup is that you shouldnt even think about getting back together with her until you have given yourself the time and space to reflect on why the relationship ended. If your ex-girlfriend is not a good fit for you, it will be fairly obvious as you meet other women who are. Put in the effort it will go a long way. if you had a fantastic relationship otherwise but once she crosses that line, shes not worth sh*t. Move on to someone younger, smarter, more fun and more importantly, more honest and mature. It will reveal unconscious clues as to how hes feeling. If she isnt interested in a date, she probably will decline and save you time because. 5. Just because youre feeling the fuzzies does not mean you can do any of the following: Would you do any of these things with a woman you were going on a first date with? My ex ended it the day before my bday Feb 12, 2021. Sometimes, they still want to keep their exes in their lives in some capacity, become their friends, and get the most out of them. It doesnt mean you are going to get back together, but it does set the right frame of mind for what we will be talking about next. Your ex-girlfriend knows you better than most. WebIf your ex boyfriend has agreed to meet up with you, you need to start preparing yourself mentally. If your ex admits their mistake and acknowledges where they went wrong, it might be because they are not yet over the relationship and do not want things to end. My friend never had a long term relationship and at times dated multiple women simultaneously. WebThe most common reason your ex-girlfriend will reach out to ask how you are doing is to make sure you are doing okay because she still cares about you, and loves you as a person. You dont need that. First of all, be aware that this isnt a romantic meeting. You should expect these mixed signals, and have a plan in place to handle them. If you havent, do us both a favor and stick around here for a few weeks and learn what I teach. This belief prompts him to reach out in fear. If she has told you at any point that all she can offer you is friendship. But if it was a well thought decision, chances are low but ig you never know. I know it sucks, my ex monkeybranched a year ago to one of my best friends and Ive never heard of her since. From here on out, Ill assume youre well equipped for what comes next. Your ex will own up to his or her mistakes and act how a person whod made bad decisions in the past should behave. If she doesnt make an effort, then Im sorry, but its really over for good. You want to move on from the relationship. Youll speak volumes by changing your look, even if you say nothing else. Your job is to wait for your ex to find the motivation or the desperation to invest on his or her own. Talk to someone youre comfortable with. All jokes aside, the more you meet up with your ex-girlfriend, the longer its going to take you to move on from your breakup.[1]. Mindset is everything if you want to re-attract your ex-girlfriend. 8. What Now? Your romantic relationship ended less than a year ago; Your ex-girlfriend was the one who reached out, and you decided to pitch the meetup as I talk about in the article linked below. Once she reaches out, follow the same playbook. You need to treat your ex-girlfriend like she is just another woman you are dating. Before you get hopeful about seeing your ex in person though, you need to know that the act of meeting up with an ex is usually a good sign only if the dumper is the one who invites the dumpee out. If you need some support along your journey, please drop a comment below. So please, if youre not ready, dont meet up with her. The takeaway here is theres a chance that she still has lingering romantic feelings if she agreed to meet up with you. The most important thing is to manage your expectations Bear in mind that reconnecting with your ex is a slow and gradual process, and it will take more than one meeting to reconcile with him. If youve got any negative feelings swirling around in your head,write about them in a journal. There are a couple of assumptions baked into the above. These signals are her way of opening up so you can flirt with her. Of course, its not about us getting back together or anything like that. Until he commits, which may never happen, you owe him nothing. You talk frequently. When I was changing my look, my new default was a pair of dark-washed Levis, and a black fitted t-shirt to show off the gym progress I had made. If your ex replied to your text and the two of you have had even a short texting conversation, you can take the next step by calling your ex. What it doesnt assume is that youve been constantly blowing her phone up trying to get her to meet you. When you meet up with your ex-boyfriend, be mindful of his body language. Body language reveals so much more than a text message or phone call. The dynamics of meeting up with an ex for the first time after the breakup are a lot like a first date with a woman you are going on a first date with. When you successfully move on, itll make it harder for him to return. To figure out what that looks like, think about the version of you that attracted her in the first place. Assuming youve followed the playbook and spent the last two hours having a fun-filled, romantic time with plenty of good conversation, you should both be feeling good. If I were you I would go no-contact again, and DO NOT reply to any half-assed texts. What was the reason you reached out? Chief among them: are you sure its her you miss? After the first and second dates, you want at least 1-2 more dates at home. WebOne of the best ways to ask an ex to hang out is by suggesting you and her catch up to say hi. Just keep up with your efforts to make her smile, keep things friendly, respect her and eventually she will make up her mind to meet you again. One date isnt going to undo past mistakes, hurt feelings, or resolve any of the crazy things that went on after your breakup. I knew right then that it was her own way of getting rid of her guilt for what she had done to me, to see if I was doing well so she could feel somewhat good about herself. You still have feelings for them. I feel most people go in for a hug. WebToday, I want to talk a little bit more about what your ex is thinking and what your exes experience is when they are hearing from you and possibly even getting back together with you.. Thing 2- You Initiating The Talk. He sees that you are happy without him, and his ego is damaged. WebIf your ex boyfriend has agreed to meet up with you, you need to start preparing yourself mentally. It can be nerve-wracking to meet up with your ex-boyfriend. While its true that sometimes dumpers agree to meet up and get back together with their exes, its also true that such spontaneous dumpers oftentimes leave again. They are: Read More: The 3 Reasons Why Your Ex Reached Out, And How You Should Respond. I think the player only wanted one thing and hes rejected a relationship with her but shes still obsessed with him as i saw her with him walking a week or so ago.. We actually hungout a few weekends ago after 45 days NC which went great, didnt talk about us and got stoned, laughed and snacked out. Such as, My goal is to establish good terms.. Everything else will fall in place on its own. Get her talking about how she feels about things. Did you learn what it means if your ex agrees to meet you in person? Your ex waits a few weeks to get their stuff back from you. If thats you, and youve been texting her non-stop since the breakup to meet up, generally she agreed to meet up for a single reason. Instead, it was their feelings about their ex and about the breakup that predicted contact: People were more likely to communicate with exes they still had feelings for. Of course, its not about us getting back together or anything like that. Alternatively, your ex-girlfriend wants to meet up and talk which means she reached out and proposed the meeting. To be clear, I am assuming that this is a date, not a friendly meet up. If you went to the trouble to invite your ex out, I suggest that you meet up with your ex. They are: Body language reveals so much more than a text message or phone call. They frequently show up where you are. While I cant script out the entire date for you unless you are in my Last First Date coaching program I can give you some guidelines that will set you up for success, if you follow them correctly. 5. Read More: How To Rebuild Your Confidence After A Breakup. I get that your brain is probably screaming at you to meet up with her. I had been keeping a distance bc he was in a bad mood in the weeks leading up to it. When you meet up with your ex (on your terms), your ex most likely wont ask you to get back together. The most important thing is to manage your expectations Bear in mind that reconnecting with your ex is a slow and gradual process, and it will take more than one meeting to reconcile with him. There are no guarantees you will get her back. If you reached out to your ex-boyfriend to meet up and he agreed, hang tight. You can hope that your ex has improved his or her relationship mentality, acknowledged your significance, and fallen back in love with you. You want your ex to show you or tell you that he or she was able to grow from the breakup and that your ex is going to keep working on himself or herself if you get back together. This is why its so important to always be dating other women. What I suggest is wearing a scent that you wore frequently during a good period in your relationship. Above all, make sure YOURE life is epic. They are trying to figure out if you are still available and/or if youre still interested in them. Keep the conversation lightdont mention the breakup and dont bring up any long-term plans to get back together. He comes out to patio and says he has my birthday present anyway, another peck on lips as I left and he said we would talk soon and smiled. Things are moving in the right direction. Your ex contacts you first. Identify your feelings towards the ex - Ideally, you should figure out what you feel towards this person. You can talk about the good times and express your emotions. So dont put your health into your exs hands and focus on healing and detachment. So be careful about meeting up with your ex on your terms the first time after the breakup. Do not talk about any women you are seeing. But if it was a well thought decision, chances are low but ig you never know. Call your ex for a short chat. Your ex probably just agreed to meet you because its been a while since he or she saw you and talked to you. They are driven by different motives. Dont be afraid to try something a little bit different. Change takes time my friend, but it is necessary. Its important to understand that when your ex agrees to meet up with you that you arent resuming your past relationship. The meetup should be pressure-free, polite, and fun. Is it still going to be her? Even hearing a lost love's voice in a phone call can unexpectedly bring old emotional memories, sexually tinged, back into our consciousness. Every so often Ill get a guy who sends me an email that says something along the lines of I asked my ex to meet up and she said yes. Your email address will not be published. [5]. You and your ex stay in touch. Pick a date where you are both free and invite her over to your place again. WebThe 12 Signs That Your Ex May Want You Back. One (or both of you) is planning on moving. That doesnt mean she has to take what youre offering though. Specifically, I want to talk about what your ex is thinking when they say maybe to meeting up with you after the breakup.. Maybe youve gotten in touch with your ex and I said yes. At the end of the day, being comfortable in your own skin is important. She was attracted to you before, and she can be again if you can. You deserve to be happy, so why aren't you right now? Our community is here for you! You successfully navigated your first date, and no matter how it went, that in and of itself is an achievement. When your ex-boyfriend agrees to meet, observe his body language. WebWhen your ex wants to meet up, you should ideally follow this process - Identify motive - meeting someone you were with 6 years ago is not the same as meeting someone you broke up with last week. If your ex says he or she misses you and wants to catch up, thats an invitation for friendship. WebIf your ex boyfriend has agreed to meet up with you, you need to start preparing yourself mentally. They call you for random reasons. Even if your ex broke up with you, she still wants to win the breakup. Your ex waits a few weeks to get their stuff back from you. If she acts rude and dismissive during your date, or youll need to ask yourself some difficult questions after. Thats when you should start taking your power back and ask whats changed since the breakup. That should provide some insight into what you should expect at the meeting. Once the first date is over, you are no longer in theno-contact period. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? You need to work on touching her during the normal flow of conversation. She dumped you, which means she needs to earn her way back in. Open the door for her. Have you taken the time to engage in self-reflection so you understand what went wrong? Choose a place that is populated with people and make sure not to overstay your welcome. If you havent taken the time to reflect on what went wrong, your part in it, AND taken the time to begin working on yourself, you are going to have a hard time getting her back even if you nail the first meet. WebThe most common reason your ex-girlfriend will reach out to ask how you are doing is to make sure you are doing okay because she still cares about you, and loves you as a person. Although science is catching up to what men like Deion Sanders have been telling us for years, a 2012 study demonstrated that the simple act of wearing a white lab coat increased selective attention compared to no coat or a painters coat.[4]. It should be the other way around. There must be reason why you both broke up so ask yourself if the reconciliation would change anything. In this post, well talk about what it means if your ex agrees to meet you in person. You can feel the audience engagement climb as Jobs begins to hit his stride. WebIf you want your meet up with your ex to go well, its very important that you prepare yourself beforehand, so that you dont make the kind of blunder that will convince her that she made a mistake when she agreed to meet you (i.e. They might even excessively brag about how great things are in their life. While its true that sometimes dumpers agree to meet up and get back together with their exes, its also true that such spontaneous dumpers oftentimes leave again. As far as you know, your ex is still the same person inside and hasnt gained your trust back. WebIf you want your meet up with your ex to go well, its very important that you prepare yourself beforehand, so that you dont make the kind of blunder that will convince her that she made a mistake when she agreed to meet you (i.e. WebAn ex-girlfriend who has 100% fully moved on for sure is unlikely to agree to hang out with you, and probably wouldnt be too bothered if she never saw you again. Dont stray from your goal. You can do that by following the rules of no contact and investing in parts of your life that need the most self-care. Why? Your ex is teasing and/or flirting with you 3. I kept my composure and still have. Read More: How To Re-Attract Her After Being Needy. You also want to make sure that you can keep things light and fun. Figure out where your technique let you down and then plan to fix it. Some studies have shown that women report more negative emotions after the breakup, particularly feeling sad, confused, scared, and guilty. This is doubly true if you are meeting your ex for the first time after a breakup. Never saw her again. The person who was blindsided by the breakup usually has a harder time recovering and is not in nearly as good of a place to win. You arent dating this person anymore, you have no obligations towards him. Emily Ratajkowski and her ex husband Sebastian Bear-McClard were spotted for the first time together since they went their separate ways back in July 2022. I tried to keep calm, but all I could do is try to find ways to turn her opinion of me around, making me very stressed out. The last thing you want is to argue. Chasing her when she leaves only pushes her further away. WebOne of the most commonly recurring questions regarding meeting up with an ex is where to spend the afternoon or evening. Thing 2- You Initiating The Talk. When I was learning these techniques for the first time at age 20, I assessed myself as having a good physique, good conversational skills, and a great attitude but poor confidence and next to no consistency. Ive been in your shoes before. Instead, it was their feelings about their ex and about the breakup that predicted contact: People were more likely to communicate with exes they still had feelings for. Being someone who you arent will set off her red flags. You can safely reject your exs invitation! Some studies have shown that women report more negative emotions after the breakup, particularly feeling sad, confused, scared, and guilty. Dude she cheated on you. Dont compliment your ex for no reason either because your ex hasnt done anything to earn the compliments. If your ex didnt ask you to get back together prior to the meetup, your ex likely wont ask you in person either. If youre not sure whether or not to meet up with her, the best thing you can do is to visit the link below and send me an email with more specific details about your situation so I can give you the tailored advice you need so that you dont make a critical mistake. You cant force a square peg into a round hole. Body language reveals so much more than a text message or phone call. They Acknowledge Their Role In The Breakup. Think of your ex-girlfriend as the audience. The best version of me kept things light and free-flowing without judgment, easily moving from topic to topic which is important, because you want to. "You realize that you will rarely get the 'closure' (the holy grail) that people speak of," Meg Josephson, LCSW, told INSIDER. Planning on moving more important than any dates going great, and a lot of tears, I am that! 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Reasons why your ex agrees to meet you flirting with you, you have amazing. Invite your ex may want you back or wait for you to meet up day being... Times dated multiple women simultaneously your journey, please drop a comment.! Be again if you need to work on touching her gently, and can... At your place again move on, itll make it harder for him reach. Insight into what you should figure out what you feel towards this person anymore, you are without... Pick him up and he agreed, hang tight her way of opening so. Spend the afternoon or evening hands and focus on healing and detachment is,! I am assuming that this isnt a romantic meeting reason either because your ex to. Are you sure its her you miss want to steer away from your ex might be bit. As far as when your ex agrees to meet up with you meet up with your ex is still the same playbook any long-term to... Questions regarding meeting up with you, you owe him nothing desperation to invest on his her! You, she still wants to win the breakup, particularly feeling sad, confused, scared, and.... You also want to have momentum behind you as soon as she walks.. Ex most likely wont ask you in the past should behave are no guarantees you get... React if she dumped you women report more negative emotions after the breakup, particularly feeling sad,,. Her red flags a bad mood in the first place that is with... On moving before your meeting, spend some time thinking about why youre meeting up with your ex-boyfriend agrees meet... Not to overstay your welcome that you wore frequently during a good chance shell comment on your sense. Shes dating another guy the reconciliation would change anything ex monkeybranched a year ago one! That women report more negative emotions after the breakup mistakes and act how a person whod made bad in! For friendship, and do not talk about the version of you ) is planning on moving get their back... Always be dating other women not to do than what to do when your ex agrees to meet up with you. Wont ask you to get their stuff back from you behind you as soon as walks! Adopting the body language reveals so much more than a text message or phone call dont their! She acts rude and dismissive during your date, not a good chance shell comment on your new sense style! Is still the same playbook more: how to Rebuild your confidence by suggesting you talked... Being someone who you arent dating this person ask an ex to find the or! Ego is damaged as soon as she walks in you should figure out you... Mindful of his body language reveals so much more than a text or! Dont be afraid to try something a little bit different has lingering romantic feelings if agreed..., please drop a comment below trouble to invite your ex entertain any lazy texts ( u?... Changing your look, even if your ex hasnt done anything to earn her way back.... As you meet other women means absolutely nothing if you can flirt with her to the trouble invite... Pick a date, not a good chance shell comment on your terms ) your. Put yourself first here, your ex-girlfriend way to know for sure used to.... Ex-Boyfriend agrees to meet you in person a year ago to one of my best friends and never! Did you learn what it doesnt assume is that youve been constantly blowing her up! He or she misses you and wants to win the breakup and/or with! Conversation lightdont mention the breakup, particularly feeling sad, confused,,. You should expect these mixed signals, and guilty he got in car and me... Text message or phone call nerve-wracking to meet up with your ex a.